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  • Writer's pictureDr. Daniella Pedroso

Title: Understanding Relationship OCD: Navigating the Challenges of Doubt and Uncertainty

People with past trauma such as being betrayed may feel particularly vulnerable and insecure and find it hard to trust again, even in new relationships. You may feel compelled to keep checking on your partner and this behavior may become a problem in itself. How do you know if you are having Relationship OCD?

The answer is to look for a therapist who specializes in OCD but here is some information that may help your understanding.

Relationships are complex and can bring about a range of emotions regardless of past hurt. However, for individuals with Relationship Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (ROCD), these emotions can become overwhelming due to excessive doubt and uncertainty. In this blog post, we will delve into the world of Relationship OCD, its impact on individuals and their relationships, and strategies to navigate the challenges it presents.

1. Defining Relationship OCD:

Relationship OCD, or ROCD, is a subtype of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) that centers around doubt and uncertainty in romantic relationships. Those with ROCD experience intrusive thoughts and doubts about their partner, their compatibility, and the overall quality of their relationship. These thoughts can lead to extreme distress, anxiety, and a constant need for reassurance.

2. The Cycle of Doubt:

Individuals with ROCD often find themselves caught in a cycle of doubt and uncertainty. They may question their feelings, compatibility, or commitment to their partner. Despite having a genuine love and care for their partner, intrusive thoughts and doubts can create significant distress and lead to constant reassurance-seeking behaviors.

3. Impact on Relationships:

ROCD can have a profound impact on romantic relationships. Constant doubt and uncertainty can strain the bond between partners. It may be challenging for the person with ROCD to fully trust their feelings and judgments, leading to guilt, frustration, and dissatisfaction. Partners may also struggle to understand and cope with the incessant need for reassurance.

4. Differentiating ROCD from Real Relationship Issues:

It is important to differentiate ROCD from genuine relationship issues. ROCD is characterized by intrusive thoughts and obsessive doubts that are disproportionate to the actual state of the relationship. Recognizing the role of ROCD can help individuals and their partners better understand and address the specific challenges they face. Distressed couples should seek both couples therapy (such as Emotion-Focused Therapy for couples, or the Gottman Method).

5. Seeking Professional Help:

If you suspect that you or your partner may be experiencing ROCD, seeking professional help from a mental health professional, such as a therapist or psychologist, is crucial. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is often an effective approach to managing ROCD. CBT can help challenge and reframe irrational thoughts, reduce reassurance-seeking behaviors, and develop healthier coping strategies.

6. Communication and Support:

Open and honest communication is vital when navigating ROCD. It is important to share your experiences with your partner, allowing them to better understand the nature of ROCD and the challenges it presents. The partner with ROCD needs to learn to recognize when triggered and use the tools they gain in therapy without falling into the OCD cycle, which is never permanently reassuring. Stick to the facts. Cultivate an environment of support and empathy, where both partners can express their needs and concerns without judgment.

7. Self-Care and Mindfulness:

Prioritizing self-care and practicing mindfulness techniques can significantly contribute to managing ROCD symptoms. Engage in activities that promote relaxation and self-soothing, such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or engaging in hobbies that bring joy and fulfillment. Learn to sit with the anxiety without engaging in the compulsion to check or seek reassurance. The anxiety is like a wave that will crest and dissipate if you don't give it much attention. Taking care of your mental and emotional well-being is essential for a healthier relationship with yourself and your partner.

8. Patience and Persistence:

Navigating ROCD is a process that requires patience and persistence. Recovery takes time, and setbacks may occur along the way. Remember that progress is not linear and be gentle with yourself and your partner throughout the journey. Having an empathic partner who is willing to form a secure attachment can be a real source of healing. Celebrate small victories and maintain hope for continued growth and improvement.


Relationship OCD can be a challenging and distressing experience for individuals and their partners. By understanding the nature of ROCD, seeking professional help, fostering open communication, practicing self-care, and maintaining patience, individuals can navigate the challenges of doubt and uncertainty and cultivate healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Remember, with the right support and strategies, it is possible to find stability and happiness within your relationship and within yourself.

Dr. D. Pedroso Haggerty is a Licensed Psychologist in Arizona who specializes in working with adults overwhelmed by anxiety and OCD. Email: info@pedrosopsychological to inquire.

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